Don't be shy now Recyclables. You know I took you out of the basement for a reason. I gave you months of warning. And it wasn't just so I could take your picture. Though I will say this for you Recyclables: you are much more photogenic than I ever imagined you'd be. No, I took you out of the basement to introduce you to my friend here. Reader, these are some of my beloved Recyclables. Recyclables, say hello to my sweet reader. Isn't she lovely Recyclables? I think so.
And I also dragged you out of your cavernous home because I wanted to organize you (and your cavernous home) up a little bit. I don't mean to offend you, Recyclables, but you were a bloody mess down there. The toilet rolls cavorting with the bottle caps. The cereal boxes mixing with the bread tags. I'm sorry but it was more than I could take! Admittedly, it was my own fault. I gave you no choice. I threw you down there expecting you to sort yourselves out. Well... that never happened. I finally had to take things into my own hands and whip you into shape myself.
Now look at yourselves Recyclables! You look... well... I think you look downright NICE in fact. True, there are just scads, just oodles of you! But I'm sure that in time we'll find a use for each and every one of you. I'm very much hoping that will be the case and I'm working hard to make it happen. Now say your goodbyes. It's time to find a fresh, clean spot for you down in your basement, one where I'll be able to see you and say hello to you regularly. No more big black garbage bags for you Recyclables, oh no! You'll be on shelves and in containers! Won't that be luxurious? It'll make us all much happier. Of that, you can be certain.
Now you! You have yourself a fine day. I'll see you again soon!